BRAZEN ATTACK IN FAIRHAVEN
by Jarmuch Olmstead
Yesterday, Fairhaven saw a BRAZEN and SHOCKING attack on Cobbler’s way in the Merchant district, near the New Bridge. Witness reports are spotty, but it appears a domestic dispute spiralled out of control with a hysterical elf female launching herself at a goblin male, who had abandoned the slattern.
The female, who had a distinctive feral air, apparently fought off one of the goblin’s confederates. In a surprising turn, the goblin’s associate was an half-orc heir of House Tharashk, displaying the distinctive mark of the House tattooed across his face. Doubtless attempting to minimize attention to his house, he tried unsuccessfully to calm the deranged elf, before stamping off in a huff.
Likewise, a drunken tiefling woman, possibly the consort of the half-orc, harangued the gathered onlookers to ignore the daytime assault of the goblin. Certain witnesses claimed that there was a fourth participant to the scuffle, another elf woman, who was described both as “surprisingly masculine” and “sexily well-muscled”.
Reached for comment about the attack, a House Tharashk spokesperson denied any involvement by House Tharashk or any of its representatives, though long-time city residents will note that the incident occurred four streets from the House Tharashk compound.
If the author can editorialize for a moment, this is just the latest of a long series of incidents caused by relaxing standards of entry to the city. As we seek to rebuild our kingdom after a long and ruinous war, we need to recall why we are rebuilding and what are the values for which we were willing to fight.
Anybody with any information that may help solve this crime is invited to contact the Fairhaven constabulary.